The hawk was dead, he lay before me a mass of feathers and curled talons. There in the silence of the forest, on the forest floor with the canopy of ancient large trees ... laid the spirit that would set my spirit reeling.. the metamorphosis had begun. I had sensed it in every bone, every muscle of my body. I sit writing ...staring at the reflection of the moon in the upper window, at the reflection of myself dimly lit in the south window... the quiet tired girl who is so eager for life to unfold. I have been on a quest since I can remember. I have questioned all that surrounds me since I was small. Now, at long last, I'm aware that these are good things. These two words contain good matter, good molecules, good vibes: quest and question.
Today held many joining puzzle shapes which emerged and centered for me as I grew quiet. It seems that solitude is the answer as of late.. quiet... all one..alone.
I was painting a great cat, a black panther who contained spots. As I painted I knew I needed to walk in the woods. There as we walked in the woods were large cat tracks.... leading the way. The river called our names, just as it always does. Rocks and ripples awaited, sounds and smells surrounded.. the sunshine filtered in lifting our spirits, settling our nerves just as the silt settles in to the water currents. All was right in the world.
As I read Meinrad's words tonight, I realized that there were three pictures (paintings) that held secrets from today...Death..which represented a release, an opening, a fount.....Wind which represented freedom and flight with wings given and presented by the death of the hawk....and finally Night which was given by the crow family and settled into our bones just as now knowing that night surrounds me in a thick dark layer, engulfing me and settling my spirit. Night will be my friend. It will hold secrets and share them wisely once I learn to settle in... acceptance of the night air is needed. The moon and my reflection are of utmost importance... all one... alone...settling in to the fount.