Mar 1, 2012

Each stage of our lives allows us to grow in many unexpected ways. I can reflect back upon a childhood of wonders where I moved freely through the land, doorways of wonder, sensing things from deep within the earth. It was pure pleasure to wander and breathe in every nuisance around me. There was a sensitivity of deep resolve to know more about the nature of the land, the people and the life forms that filled it. I was very aware of how old the land was that I laid my feet upon and often times laid my head upon at night. There were badlands to explore filled with bones, skin fragments and fossils which revealed puzzles of life before. This was treasure hunting at its finest. There were rocks to examine, break open and marvel at their beautiful nature inside....Makes me contemplate what you would find inside many things around us, even us as humans...would we glow from within or would there be many cracks and crevices that conceal the glowing interior?
From the beginning I knew I was different (as now I know we all are). The sad part of this is that as a child it's OK to be different, but as people enter our lives, school enters our lives, and survival patterns enter our lives this different approach often times feels like a label and we begin to lose our voice. 
Is there any one thing to blame, I think not. Our personal journey is richer, deeper and more fulfilling when the journey is filled with ups and downs, hills and valleys, sun and moon. 
My personal journey was often with wide open eyes sensing things through my skin, my touch, my ears, and of most importance through my fingers and eyes. Movement was very important to me, touching life was very important, and recreating what I saw through art became of utmost importance. 
At some of the stages of growth I felt as though this sensitivity was a disgrace, a dishonor and I was to tuck it in and toughen up..This  only led to more sadness from within. Then when sadness enters you are labeled with depression. I slowly found out through self journeys, through education, through some marvelous open people that I was never depressed just not allowing my voice to be heard. With this stage of growth my world expanded as large as the Grinch's when he felt love for the first time! Ever since I might stumble but I never look back...
There are so many vivid moments in my life that have made huge differences in who I am..
Becoming a mother and from your warm belly comes these creatures who are absolutely marvelous in every way..what a blessing, and then you get to grow with them, laugh with them, cry with them, 
Then comes moments of love, marriage, death, new jobs, divorce and so many moments that cause huge growth in us. We slowly begin to understand our parents and why they care and worry about us so..
I could go on and on...
But I have to say I love growing older (and no I'm not grown up), I love these stages of liking myself, of knowing I have so much to give and share...
Life is good, life is a blessing
I will continue to laugh, cry, share and feel every emotion from the tips of my soul... I will express

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