Mar 28, 2015

Enya Says, Caught Me a Lizard

My Friends:

Not to kick sand in anyone’s whiskers, but it’s warm and sunny here in this latitude. I thought it would be helpful for you bowsers to get a sense of how my day plays out in our desert spot. Someone gets up early in the morning and throws my covers over my head. I like this as this encourages a little more snooze time.  I know when it is clark who covers me as I can usually smell him as he approaches my couch. If I hear the coffee pot soon after the covers fall over my head, I know for certain that it is clark. Quite possibly this is the only task I have seen him perform since our arrival. Annie does not seem to interfere with the coffee business. 

Once the coffee machine has finally stopped urping…I detest that sound.  It reminds me of an old Lab I knew whose snoring kept me awake half the night back in the day. But that, my puppies is another story.  After things get quiet with the coffee beast the three of us mosey outside to the back patio where the sun is shining.  Annie carries her coffee in an artistic cup with mysterious symbols.  I like it because being an art breed, I get it. Clark’s cup on the other hand is from the University of Southern California medical school. Yes, I can read as well as most humans at the 6th grade level.  He must have stolen it or someone gave him a gift.  I’ve noted that he carries it proudly.  Once they plop down in their spots I listen to the usual slurping that seems to go with coffee drinking. This is followed by a few “ohh’s” from Annie. Her face always beams in these moments, and thus does mine.

  “Holy shit” seems to be clark’s preferred comment as the sun clears the Santa Rita Mountains to the east.  I know it’s the Santa Rita’s because Annie also taught me how to read a map a long time ago.  I recline and let the sun warm my belly.

My favorite time of the day is late afternoon and we’re out on those hot pavers in the front patio. The sun is shining and within a few minutes I can hear them creeping about in the plants. It’s the Tubac lizards. I consider them devils from the desert. They taunt me with that flicking little tongue. I told Annie I thought they were sticking their tongue out at me on purpose. She said “nope” it’s biology or something. Who cares? I think they’re dissing me and I’m going to do something about it. Unfortunately, Annie won’t help me so it’s going to be up to clark to help launch my plan.

Clark is usually up a to a good plan especially if there’s a small amount of laughable misfortune to someone other than he. Simply put, here’s my thinking: I want to lasso a lizard and teach it to heel on command. Once I’ve trained the devil to master this simple act…we canines do it all the time, I’m gonna walk my newly trained pet down the main street in Tubac for all to see. Sorta like the Westminster Dog Show, only  different. I just wish Buffalo Bill Cody were still alive, he’d sign me up for his Wild West Show.

Much later:
Since clark has made me a lasso I’ve been practicing throwing the thing. There’s more to this than meets the untrained eye. It’s supposed to be 90 today so I know the rascals will be out in force sunning themselves 
over by the bird feeder.  I’m certain by the time the sun sets in the western sky I’ll be walking my lizard around for all to admire. I’m naming it Homer. 

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